The 5 S's For Soothing Your Baby

Tiger in a tree hold

It can feel overwhelming and disregulating to have an upset baby that seems to not respond to soothing. Typically, babies can have a time of day where they may seem more fussy and unable to settle than usual.

The 5 S's are a great simple tool to remember when it feels like you have exhausted options for comforting your baby. 

Where do the 5 S's come from? 

In 1981, Dr Harvey Karp began investigating the cause of colic (persistent crying in infants form 1-4 months) in Western nations. In some areas of the world like the !Kung culture of northern Namibia, babies are easily soothed in under one minute by their caregivers. The reason for this is because constant physical contact between newborns and caregivers is the norm and caregivers are able to mimic the comfort of the womb through physical contact, movements and sound. These movements and sounds are highly instinctual, and have been used by parents since parenting existed. It is the widespread Western philosophy of early parenting, with much less physical contact, separate surface sleeping, and the goal of early "independence" from caregivers that is an abnormal construct, largely related to a false sense of individualism and rush to return to work. For the first 6 months of your baby's life, they don't know that they are their own person, and they don't have any object permanence. So, when you leave the room or expect them to sleep in their own area, this can be distressing and confusing. It is my goal in my work to help bring parents closer to these instincts and unlearn the idea that a "good" baby is a baby that is independent and disconnected from their parents. We want your baby to act like a baby. A healthy baby wakes up often, needs contact to settle, and expresses their needs through crying. 

So, when your baby seems inconsolable, it is important to remember that your baby is a person and that they are supposed to cry! They need contact, rest, stimulation, and regulation just like we do, AND, sometimes even when they have all of those things, they may just not be calm. As they get older, you may start to recognize cues, times of day, or situations that might cause crying and work to avoid sensory situations that might make your baby overwhelmed or upset. Crying is their way of communicating that they need any type of support. Your baby will never die from crying, so when you feel overwhelmed by the sound of their cries, put your baby down and take a second to ground yourself before soothing your baby. Many parents choose to wear earplugs during times of day and night when their baby may be especially fussy to help stay grounded and calm when supporting their baby.  

When your baby is crying and you are feeling lost, you may choose to also follow these 5 "S" steps to help ground and regulate them: 

1) Swaddle
Wrap your baby tightly in a swaddle, ensuring they still have access to one or both of their hands. 

2) Side stomach position 
Lay your baby on their side, or hold them across your forearm in a "tiger in a tree" hold 

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3) Swaying 
Babies like repetitive motion. Bounce or sway in a repetitive motion. 

4) Shushing 
Make a repetitive "sh" sound that is as loud or louder than your baby's cries. 

5) Sucking 
Offer some oral stimulation to your baby. If you are breastfeeding, offer the breast, even if they don't seem hungry. Breastfeeding is not only for nutritional purposes, it also offers sensory support. If you are not breastfeeding, you may choose to offer a soother or your finger to give your baby something to suck on. Choose an oral tool that aligns with your feeding goals and is approved by feeding professionals to reduce nipple confusion. 

These are the traditional 5 S's, but I would add to the list: 

Babywearing! Put your baby in a stretchy wrap, ring sling, or buckle carrier and bounce, sway, shush, and pat your baby. See if the motion and contact helps settle them down. If you are wanting to learn more about babywearing or have a consult from a local babywearing educator, check out babywearingmelody.com for local babywearing support, or The Babywearing OT for videos and tutorials about choosing a wrap and safety tips. 

Patting. Patting your baby's bum firmly and repeatedly mimics a heartbeat and can be very soothing for babies. Pat harder than you think! Babies often like firm, repetitive touch. 

And after all that? The most important thing to remember is get to know your baby! Look at your baby often, hold your baby often, and get used to parenting the baby in front of you, not Dr Google's baby. Just like in birth, your instinct is probably the right answer. 

You got this! 

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