What to expect the first night home with your baby

Congratulations, new parent! It's time to bring your baby home! Getting home with your baby might feel exciting, overwhelming, sad, daunting, or everything all at once. So, how can we set up a plan for the first day at home, to make space for all those feelings, and set you up for success? 

One thing that I wish more parents were aware of is that the placenta keeps your baby fully nourished for the first 24 hours of their life! This is a wonderful way to reframe feeding and sleeping windows in the first 24 hours as less of a survival need for your baby, and more of a way to get acquainted with them on the outside. 

This, of course, depends on how their blood sugars are, and if your midwife or doctor has recommended a particular feeding regiment (with reason to back it up) it is important to follow that. It is indicated that babies that are born bigger or smaller than a certain range be be monitored for blood sugar in the first 36 hours of their life. This is a protocol that you can choose to consent to, or make an informed refusal, but you may choose to ask more questions about recommendations for feeding in the first few days if this is the case. 

With that in mind, some questions you might want to keep in mind for the first day are: 

• Who will be present? Will your whole family and in-laws be in your house to meet the baby? Or will it be just you and your partner? If you've hired a night nanny or postpartum doula do you want them there for the first day, or do you want to be alone with your family for the first day? If people are going to be around, what are your boundaries around holding/touching/kissing the baby? 
• What will you eat? It is my recommendation that new parents have a plan and all the food they need for the first 5 days of their baby's life in the house. Does this mean setting up a meal train, making a grocery order, or taking some food out of the freezer? 
• Where will baby sleep? Will they sleep in the bed with you, or on a bassinet? Even if your plan is separate surface sleeping, learn about safe bedsharing in case it is something you choose to try. Another great skill to explore before baby arrives is babywearing. Newborns love being held and learning about babywearing early can help set you up for a wonderful babywearing relationship (you can wear your child into toddler-hood and beyond)! 
• How can you rest? Will you be on the couch, in bed, in a recliner? What is one thing you can do that feels luxurious and deeply nourishing for yourself? 

Because your baby's stomach is full the first 24 hours and they are tired from labour, you may choose to also have one longer stretch of sleep with your baby. Ask your midwife or doctor about the length of this sleep. What I have witnessed care providers say is that a 4-6 stretch one time in the first 24 hours is a good amount of rest for your baby. Otherwise, you can expect them to begin rooting in that 8x in 24 hours that we strive for during the newborn phase, or even more often if they are interested in cluster feeding, which is a normal behaviour for newborns learning to feed. If your midwife or doctor has not recommended a particular feeding regiment, the best course of action is to feed on demand. You may choose to write down when your baby eats, but put the clock down and get to know your baby's cues. 

Your baby will also still be passing bowel movements with a thick heavy form of stool called meconium. This substance is different than human stool, as it comes from nutrients in the placenta, rather than colostrum. You can expect to be looking out for the number of poos and pees, and may choose to write this down in case your midwife or doctor asks. You may choose to also take note of your baby's "poop transition"; where their poop changes from meconium to look more like human stool (more green, yellow, or brown). 

You should also expect some hormonal changes in yourself as a birthing parent. This might include the need to cry, feel snappy with your partner, or exhausted. You may feel heaviness in your breasts as your milk matures, which might cause irritation or pain. It may be helpful to have a conversation with your partner before birth to develop some tools to use as your body begins this postpartum hormonal transformation. How can your whole family tend to this shift and care for one another? What does your partner need to know or hear to show up for you well? 

The most important thing to remember is that while your baby needs monitoring to make sure they are fed and safe, they are a human being. The biggest thing they need is love and attachment, which you can simply give them by holding them, doing lots of skin to skin, and giving them a chance to explore what it feels like to be on the outside! 

Take a deep breath, and take it all in! You've got this!